RE: Personality and Behavior Modification

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RE: Personality and Behavior Modification - 5/11/2007 5:04:38 PM

gypsygrl

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quote:

As a submissive/slave, what are you WILLING to let your partner change about you and WONT let your partner change about you?

What do you feal CAN and CAN'T be changed about you?

I'm always open to suggestions as far as what I'd be willing to let a partner change about me, or, more realistically, what I'd change about myself because I was convinced it was a good idea or my partner wanted me too. I think there's limits to how much a person can change at once and even minor, self-directed changes are often slow going. For me, at least, change is easier if I perceive it to be inevitable and in response to things I can't control. Over the past couple years, I'm made a lot of changes of necessity and while I don't always like it, I'm not sure they're reversable even if that necessity would some how evaporates. There's no going back.

I don't know that behaviors are any easier to change than internal stuff (core values and reactions). It seems to me that unless I work on the internal stuff, behaviorial change is not only shallow but too stressful to be consistant. Its hard for me to act in a way that isn't consistant with my feelings and values.

I have done enough inner-work to know that change of that kind is possible. I decided a couple years ago to stop being paranoid. I used to be a real case. I still regress sometimes and am always aware that people aren't necessarily trustworthy, but I no longer immediately jump to a paranoid conclusion about things.

< Message edited by gypsygrl -- 5/11/2007 5:06:05 PM >

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RE: Personality and Behavior Modification - 5/11/2007 5:14:29 PM

MadRabbit

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quote:

ORIGINAL: CuriousLord

I've spent late nights up, having an existential crisis over how to define myself

Try wearing firefighter boots all day long and hitting yourself in the head with a big ball

(And if you dont get the joke, watch more movies

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RE: Personality and Behavior Modification - 5/11/2007 8:56:40 PM

ICGsteve

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Behavior, emotion, and ethics can all be modified. They can be rebuild to the specifications of the Dom if the sub is willing to let another person do this to them. How many subs would go that far?? Not many I suspect. How many Doms would be willing to take the decade or longer that it would take to substantially accomplish this goal? Even fewer I think. So much easier to ditch the one you are with and find one off the rack that is more to your liking. This is an interesting thread, but it is mostly academic rather than practical.

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RE: Personality and Behavior Modification - 5/12/2007 12:31:53 AM

Vendaval

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MadRabbit

So a rather interesting thread got my mind brewing on a topic for discussion.

As a Dominant/Master, what aspects of your partner do you feel you can change?
I can modify certain behaviors and motivations, dependent upon
the individual's character and personality traits and the relationship dynamic.

Where do you feel the line is drawn between what you CAN change and CAN'T?
Most of his/her personality is already formed by the time we meet.
As a general rule, they are not going to be totally re-programmable.

Where do you feel the line is drawn between what you WILL change and WONT change out of fear of loss of sense of self/identity?
I focus on modifying behavior and attitude in a positive direction
and improving their various skill sets and self-image.

The questions might seem similar, but I stress the difference between the choice of words.

Can not implies impossibility or outside the scope of our ability. We're not gods who can rewrire human beings into our own image.

Will not implies its possible, but not done because of your own personal ethics/morals.

A good query as always, Mad Rabbit, I agree with you more often
than not, as in this instance in deferentiating between "will" and "can".

Regards,

Vendaval

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