Different meanings to different people?

Different meanings to different people? (Full Version)

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MsBearlee -> Different meanings to different people? (5/10/2007 8:18:18 AM)
Isn't if funny how things have different meanings to different people? For the uninitiated, 'water sports' might mean drinking piss. For others it might mean getting peed on in the face or over the hair...in a strongly humiliating way. For me, it means warm, wet, intimate fun; which may or may not have anything to do with D/s. But that's just me... I remember, several years ago when I first discovered ‘all this stuff’…and heard something about ‘needle play’. OMG…I was soooooooooooooo squicked! I immediately put THAT at the top of my ‘limits’ list. It wasn’t till sometime later, while developing a play-relationship with a trusted friend that I discovered needle play does not HAVE to mean thrusting 12” bicycle spokes through body parts! Yes, that would be what I thought it meant. Now…I understand ‘needle play’ can also mean threading sterile, medical needles threaded just under the skin. OMG, I’ve seen a friend of mine make beautiful designs with her sutures; using beads and other goodies on (sterile) thread. The other day, I watched a woman use needles with prettily-colored threads wound in and out (above the skin)…in a spider-web fashion. The ends of the strings had feathers and such attached at the ends…to one side. When she was finished; the girl on whom she was ‘working’ had a Dream-catcher on her shoulder…about 10” in diameter. It was gorgeous! Anyway, my question is: in the same way that others aren’t able to grock ‘water sports’ and I didn’t get ‘needle play’ at first: Are there activities common (or not so), to this lifestyle which you originally imagined to be one thing but about which (with some experience) you discovered meant, or included, something else entirely? B Edited for spelling

mistoferin -> RE: Different meanings to different people? (5/10/2007 8:21:55 AM)
Yup...fireplay. When I first heard about it I envisioned people flailing around ablaze with third degree burns resulting. I thought "these people must be insane". Now it's one of my favorite forms of play.

Bearlee -> RE: Different meanings to different people? (5/10/2007 8:53:19 AM)
LOL... now that's funny! Coming from where I do...I thought 'fire play' was something akin to 'walking on hot-coals'... While, I have had a little flame run up my arm a time or two; the whole thought of what 'could go wrong' totally freaks me. I'm fine with knives and needles and being single-tailed bloody; but...I don't want no fire play!!! b

TigressFL -> RE: Different meanings to different people? (5/10/2007 8:59:46 AM)
Watersports is still nothing have any interest not because it grosses me out but because every time I think of myself squatting over someone to take a pee I start laughing. It just seems silly to me at this point in my life but who knows what will happen in the future. There was a time that of the things that I love now were once on my No Way list; i.e. Needle Play, Fire Play, Branding, Knife Play, etc. It was not jsut no back then it was HELL NO!!! Now I laugh at myself for ever saying that. There are still some things that are non-negotiable to me, however, the list is no where near as long!

MstrssPassion -> RE: Different meanings to different people? (5/10/2007 9:11:47 AM)
these immediate knee-jerk, gut reactions to things is based on a person's "imagined worst case scenario" & I believe it is this lack of knowing what is exactly involved in these things that has someone freaked out by them. Water sports... activities involving urine Pissing on someone's face is a preference, some may find this act completely humilating & the next person will find it highly erotic Ingesting it is a preference... people will go either way with this just like anything else. Some will love it, some will hate it. Neither really have anything to do with D/s... but persons involved with D/s structures may incorporate this type of activity in their interactions.... some may find the whole notion completely ridiculous. Same thing with needle play... activity using an item to pierce the skin/flesh I've seen items as large as heavy gauge hooks used & I've seen items so thin that they could hardly be felt as they entered. Its best for people to not react to everything that they have little or no experience & knowledge with in this defensive response because it will cause them immediately feel like whoa... that shit is just to freaky for me. Most will find every activity out there that can be imagined has very low level intensities & very high level intensities. Nothing will always mean just one thing to every person because these activities stem from our own creativity & desire. I bet that we (the board & its posters) could discuss a simple act such as hand spanking & come up with completely different views on how it can be carried out. Some reinventions could be fairly tame & others could be quite horrific. Just depends on the individual who describes it & the individual who reads it.

drawntothedark -> RE: Different meanings to different people? (5/10/2007 9:23:23 AM)
Tee hee hee I once thought "Gor" was a form of play centered around gorey movies[image]http://www.collarchat.com/micons/m18.gif[/image]. I worry me sometimes. Knife play used to scare me because I had this vision of some butcher person cutting bits of skin off of me. I have now came to the understanding that's it's not like that.

RavenMuse -> RE: Different meanings to different people? (5/10/2007 9:24:46 AM)
Humiliation play. For many years I'd only seen this used in ways I disagreed with. Cutting a girls confidence out from under her so a weaker man can control her. It was only when someone went through a lot of what I did Myself, things I do that actualy help raise a girls confidence even though it may embarass or un-nerve her to start with and explained that was a form of humiliation play also... then I 'grocked' it. I still have to double check when someone starts talking about humiliation play because I do still initialy assume a negative context unless I catch Myself.

Bearlee -> RE: Different meanings to different people? (5/10/2007 9:39:45 AM)
OMG, Raven…that is so true for me, too. I used to think ‘humiliation play’ was all about degradation and saying hateful things and calling another horrible names. Now I know it can be as little a thing as light teasing and putting one in slightly embarrassing situations or scenarios. I am humiliated to admit…I absolutely LOVE such play, too; and some of it is not really all that ‘slight’. <sigh> b

RavenMuse -> RE: Different meanings to different people? (5/10/2007 9:45:04 AM)
The example that got Me to understand the angle He was taking was of Me taking a new, shy girl who wasn't confident in her looks. Leashing her to My belt and wandering through the middle of a busy event full of My friends and peers. A situation that she felt VERY self-consious about........ till it sunk in that she was being shown off... that it ment I was proud to not only be seen with My girl but that I was making it plain to see at a glance she belonged to Me and I wasn't ashamed of her.... that I must see something worth being proud of and worth showing off to My friends and peers. It was a big step in getting her to realise her own worth, but most certainly 'humiliation play'

AmazonLady -> RE: Different meanings to different people? (5/10/2007 9:51:11 AM)
At one point - I wouldn't even consider watersports, knife play, anal sex, or humiliation. I still not sure about fire play - but at least I know it's not Lighting someone on fire, now. grin

slaveish -> RE: Different meanings to different people? (5/10/2007 9:56:08 AM)
Cutting / knife play. It was a total hard limit. Blood, especially my own ... ~shudder~ But in turning the brain off, realizing Master is not going to hurt me or scar me or damage his property ... ~smiling~ It's all a matter of trust, I think.

slaveish -> RE: Different meanings to different people? (5/10/2007 9:57:38 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: RavenMuse I was making it plain to see at a glance she belonged to Me and I wasn't ashamed of her.... that I must see something worth being proud of and worth showing off to My friends and peers. It was a big step in getting her to realise her own worth, but most certainly 'humiliation play' Awwwwww. ~smiling~ What a wonderful example.

Bearlee -> RE: Different meanings to different people? (5/10/2007 10:39:56 AM)
mmmmmmmmm... Raven; what a delightful (and hot) story, Sir. :D I'm curious if anybody else has come into the lifestyle, and over time...figured out that an activity of 'ours' is something totally different than they originally thought? b

ExSteelAgain -> RE: Different meanings to different people? (5/10/2007 11:26:47 AM)
Fun thread, Bearlee (I see you changed names during the thread). It took me a long time to get the concept of whipping down. My first submissive mentioned I should whip her and I took off my belt and hit her across the thighs suddenly and hard enough to leave a mark for days. She screamed bloody murder. When I spanked her with a hair brush, it was the same way. I was way too hard, thinking she simply wanted hard, sharp pain (without a build-up) like you imagine someone being beaten in the movies or something. I thought whipping meant….well whipping. Strangely enough, what got me more into the finesse manner is when I started tying her up and spanking her, again at her suggestion. I knew I had complete control and responsibility for her that way and could take my time spanking in a teasing, building way as I played the fact she was bound and helpless. That was an interesting time where I learned much. I asked her why she left her husband and she said because he wouldn't tell her what to fix for dinner or what to do ever. I made damn sure I told subsequent D/s partners what to fix for dinner.

Bearlee -> RE: Different meanings to different people? (5/10/2007 11:55:46 AM)
LOL… Steel, I seem to cause some concern using two profiles. While I don’t think you care so much…it seems to drive some whacko. <shrugs> I like both, I use both…I answer with which ever one happens to be open. J Funny story about the spankings, though. I can see how that would happen; in fact, I think a lot of new Doms think/act the same way. I guess it just takes time and experience to learn otherwise. That would be why I think clubs and demos and other get-togethers are such a good idea…newbies can learn that finesse you mentioned; about a whole league of activities. Some I play with from time to time, insist they’re ‘sadists’ (not) and don’t care for the teasing, building, warm-up part. But, a person’s endorphins (one of the very reasons a sub/bottom enjoys such play) are ramped up only with gradual play…ebbing and flowing…softer then harder then softer again. To play a body like that, in my mind, takes much finesse. And…OMG it’s hot! Good for you (and your girl) for sticking with it… b

spankmepink11 -> RE: Different meanings to different people? (5/10/2007 12:21:16 PM)
It wasn't until my mid 30's that i became aware of the term "watersports" to mean anything other than swimming.....boating...jet skiing....i even used the term innocently in a profile. That may have been a tip of an iceberg...but thats another subject.

swtnsparkling -> RE: Different meanings to different people? (5/10/2007 4:28:27 PM)
Anything I was curious about I looked up so pretty much everything was what it was

tricia -> RE: Different meanings to different people? (5/10/2007 4:48:34 PM)
quote: Are there activities common (or not so), to this lifestyle which you originally imagined to be one thing but about which (with some experience) you discovered meant, or included, something else entirely? There was a relatively short time when i simply thought being in the 'lifestyle' (serving a dominant man) meant i would never ever again be able to plop down on the couch, eat chips and dip and watch reruns of Law and Order. I was extremely glad to find out this wasn't so :)

gypsyfirefly -> RE: Different meanings to different people? (5/10/2007 5:55:03 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MsBearlee Isn't if funny how things have different meanings to different people? quote: ORIGINAL: RavenMuse Humiliation play. For many years I'd only seen this used in ways I disagreed with. Cutting a girls confidence out from under her so a weaker man can control her. It was only when someone went through a lot of what I did Myself, things I do that actualy help raise a girls confidence even though it may embarass or un-nerve her to start with and explained that was a form of humiliation play also... then I 'grocked' it. I still have to double check when someone starts talking about humiliation play because I do still initialy assume a negative context unless I catch Myself. I found RavenMuse's post very interesting, as I found it applied to a situation I experienced personally and did not recognize as a form of humiliation, until I read his post. I have deep hesitations and reservations about humiliation; and part of that is the implied negative context that is associated with the word itself. As a matter of fact, I have it listed as a definite "no" in my profile. But, until I saw RavenMuse's explanation, I had not thought of humiliation in those terms or as it applied in that type of situation. So while I am not sure my feelings about humiliation will change in the future, this has definitely given me food for thought. So MsBearlee, thank you [:)], (and RaveMuse - thank you for including your experience), it seems your thread was spot on - at least for me - with people having different ideas, views, presumptions and assumptions of what a "phrase" may mean in general, and to them personally. gypsy We are all wanderers on this earth. Our hearts full of wonder, our souls deep with dreams. ~Gypsy Proverb

TemptingNviceSub -> RE: Different meanings to different people? (5/10/2007 6:49:02 PM)
Water Sports=sex in a jacuzzi.. Electrical Play=sticking finger in a open light socket or a cattle prod humiliation=degredation knife play=tiny pieces cut away~a nipple here,a hunk of fat there~ Yikes!! Yes many misconceptions..one big thing learned, always ask your potential partners definition of what certain types of play are....Tempting

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