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MasterNdorei -> RE: M/s Relationships And Attending Events (5/11/2007 8:50:34 AM)
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The people who came to mind who refuse to attend functions because of mistunderstandings are a dozen or so couples i know in real time. i have *met* others online, also. During the years i was active myself i saw countless couples leave because of this very issue. Elegant writes: M/s Relationship: Master/slave and/or Dominant/Submissive. Not necessarily to include S/m activities.
**** The couples i refer to, including Master and myself have little in common with D/s. There is a dynamic more intense than the Dominant/submissive dynamic. If your life is in such a place that you can focus on one thing daily, you are going to excel at it. This is the reason people go to school, make a commintment to sports, or start a food prgram. Mastering something/someone is different than domianting it/them. The dictionary backs this statement. Yet, all of this changes when one enters the realm of BDSM. D/s and M/s are written side by side repeatedly, as if they are interchangeable. i know there is a difference. Every new person who has posted, and will continue to post regarding the need for definitions, knows it too. Elegant writes: Events: Conventions, educational classes, workshops, runs, discussion groups, etc for alternative lifestyles. May or may not also include play time.
**** i have not seen any of these express the dynamic of M/s, unless they are private discussions, workshops on serving, and classes on topics related to the M/s dynamic run sperately from the groups who sponser munches, dungeon parties, and conventions. Elegant writes: MasterNdorei, is this assumption or is there verifiable evidence to back this statement?
**** i am not sure what you consider veriable evidence. i am sharing my life experiences. You can search for groups with more specific definitions geared towards the kind of dynamic i have expressed and see that they are segregated. How many times have you seen a post from one who identifies as a slave stating that they are beginning to feel like they do not belong here on CM boards? How many people active in the lfiestyle in your area could you describe as enslaved, in a 24/7 dynamic, that is not confused with D/s? How many have passed through your local ranks and decided to not stay? Merc writes: Whether this is true or not; In another post someone stated: "Most people who live their M/s dynamic full time do not attend events because of the misunderstandings." (MasterNdorei) Who knows? Who cares? Being like "most people" was never my intent or goal long before I mustered up enough courage to walk into my first event in NYC many years ago. And being "misunderstood" is a daily occurrence - it may as well occur at a great event like the Folsom Fringe!
**** The issue is not about wanting to be like anyone else. It reaches beyond being misunderstood. The dynamic of many who identify exclusively as Master/ slave are ridiculed, their dynamic is not accepted by the majority of lifestylers as a valid, respectable choice, and they do not feel welcome. My post was not geared towards the people who attend, it was merely to point out that there are a good deal more who leave. i would think in a community that touts itself as being welcoming, and tolerant might want to take a second look at themselves and their actions, but as you have pointed out, combined with the actions and posts of so many, this is clearly not the case. There are exceptions to every rule. The show of hands here of those who identify as having an M/s dynamic and are interacting on these boards and at majority-ruled lifestyle events do not negate the numbers of people who will not attend, and not interact. Finding exceptions does not negate the rule. If the majority ruled lifestyle was indeed "welcoming to all orientations" as one posted on the other thread you mentioned, there would be a better representation of all orientations. i am active in 2 groups, with more than 250 people who identify as slaves as i have defined them here, and only a handful are also on this site, even less are active on these boards. Where are their posts about being enslaved? Where are the questions and answers that partain to their needs and concerns being answered people who respect their lifestyle? Where are the good examples for those who are new to the dynamic of being enslaved? There are a few here, but as i have said, the majority are not here, and the advice given is usually detrimental to the M/s dynamic. For the record, i believe failure to define the differences between a sub and a slave as demeaning to submissives as it is to slaves. People are out raged when one defines a slave thinking it implies that to be committed to a variety of things is unfullfilling, and somehow less desireable than being a slave, when being submissive is also a great dynamic. Trying to tie the two together does not honor either dynamic. For example, some people want the more rounded relationship, and freedoms to enjoy certain things, as a Catholic paritioner might. Other people are more attracted to the intense focus of a nun. Both parties contribute to their lifestyle in different ways. It would be good for one looking for a mate to be able to tell the difference. For the sake of communicating, i still believe it is better to define two very different dynamics. However, as i pointed out in my previous post, the people who are living their dynamic constantly do not have as much time to voice their opinions on boards such as these, as those who are not, and as stated above, most have left majority ruled parts of the lifestyle because of differences. Master's dorei
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