how do i know the difference between...

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how do i know the difference between... - 2/21/2005 4:10:55 PM

marie123xyz

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Joined: 2/21/2005
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what pleases a Dom because that is what he likes, or what pleases a Dom because that is what He thinks i like? I like the former. Is there even a difference?

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RE: how do i know the difference between... - 2/21/2005 4:18:23 PM

ModeratorFive

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Joined: 4/22/2004
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quote:

what pleases a Dom because that is what he likes, or what pleases a Dom because that is what He thinks i like? I like the former. Is there even a difference?

Yes

Ask him :)

Mod5

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RE: how do i know the difference between... - 2/21/2005 4:21:38 PM

Voltare

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Joined: 1/1/2004
From: Santiago, Chile
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Great question! And not a simple one, at that.

I tend to find that when I am with someone new, there's a lot of give and take in the things we do together, and like. She might love sappy romantic movies, something I really don't care for. However, it doesn't mean I won't occasionally enjoy them, and I'm fine with doing things because I know she likes it.

Then there are things that I like to do, but usually wouldn't spend the time or effort just to do it for me. I love to cook, for example, but usually won't spend time mincing garlic just for my own sauce. But I know that if she is coming for dinner, that the time I spend chopping garlic will be appreciated by both of us (the person I am referring to loves it as much as I do.)

And, finally, there are things that I love to do, just because I love doing them, regardless of who I am around.

If this is a new relationship, expect this to be a learning experience. After a while, he will probably settle for doing things just that he likes, and if there are things that he is doing that you don't really care for - tell him!

Stephan

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RE: how do i know the difference between... - 2/21/2005 4:43:13 PM

BeachMystress

Posts: 1291
Joined: 4/3/2004
From: South Bay (LA area), CA - Southern California
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That is a good question. Some of the things I like, I like because my sub enjoys them. They are a good way to reward him. Some of the things I like, he doesn't like at all. Other things we both enjoy. Personally, I will NOT do something that I do not enjoy just because my sub enjoys it. There is plenty I can do that he enjoys. I will not compromise myself when it is time to reward him. That would just end up distressing us both.

Communication is the only way you'll figure out what acts come in which category for him. Like Mod5 said.. ASK

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RE: how do i know the difference between... - 2/21/2005 7:08:13 PM

EmeraldSlave2

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quote:

ORIGINAL: marie123xyz

what pleases a Dom because that is what he likes, or what pleases a Dom because that is what He thinks i like? I like the former. Is there even a difference?

You ask.

The Owner likes when I dress up because it amuses him to see me get to excited about it. It really doesn't bring him much of any pleasure beyond the pretty butterfly thing. While I wouldn't want to do something that he didn't like but put up with because I liked it, as long as we're all happy, I don't worry so much about it.

But if you aren't sure, ask.

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RE: how do i know the difference between... - 2/22/2005 5:29:56 AM

MidnightWriter

Posts: 131
Joined: 2/8/2005
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Good question - especially for a first post. You've done this before, right?

quote:

ORIGINAL: marie123xyz

what pleases a Dom because that is what he likes, or what pleases a Dom because that is what He thinks i like?

Sometimes, I have the sub do what pleases me. When the sub has pleased me, I have them do what they enjoy - because that is what pleases me.

If you really want to know, you'll have to ask them.

quote:

I like the former. Is there even a difference?

I like them both, and when you get right down to it, there's not much difference, is there?

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RE: how do i know the difference between... - 2/22/2005 5:58:20 PM

FangsNfeet

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Joined: 12/3/2004
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I always do what I want and let her do what she wants with my approval. We both like having sex so we do alot of that when we see each other. I like scary movies and she likes chick flicks. What do we watch? Scary unless it's V day or her B day. Whatever we do it's normally fun for both of us. Punishment is a little different but deep down she knows she likes it.

Best advice is to communicate with your master. It's the only way both of you are going to have fun together.

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