am i going about this properly?

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am i going about this properly? - 6/28/2005 4:30:02 PM

fillepink

Posts: 123
Joined: 12/18/2004
From: Venus
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on my profile, i say two things that i think are important. first, that i am searching for a Man of great character -- integrity, kindness,, compassion, not bigotted, votes, does not raise His voice in anger, etc.

second, i say i am inexperienced, and will learn to please my Dom, so apart from light bondage and role playing, i have no "kinks" i can share with a Man who contacts me.

i won't say no Man ever emails with a response that reflects these comments, but very, very few do. and i get asked over and over what my sexual practices are, and will i cyber.

is there any way to search for the Man i seek that is better than the one i have on my profile now? ty for any help You can provide. fillepink

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RE: am i going about this properly? - 6/28/2005 4:46:34 PM

sub4hire

Posts: 3834
Joined: 1/1/2004
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Finding a good dom is like finding a needle in a haystack. If you're patient you'll find the right one.
If not you'll find a lot of losers. You're going to get frustrated...but if you know that going in it will be easier to bear.
I was experienced and it took me 5 years to find the right one for me.

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RE: am i going about this properly? - 6/28/2005 6:14:40 PM

FangsNfeet

Posts: 1466
Joined: 12/3/2004
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You are saying who you are and what you want. There is nothing wrong with that.

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RE: am i going about this properly? - 6/28/2005 6:28:04 PM

SecretDomme

Posts: 152
Joined: 1/21/2004
Status: offline

You have a lovely profile. :-) Stay true to yourself and your desires. The right person for you will rise above all of the rest.

Be well,
Julie

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RE: am i going about this properly? - 6/28/2005 10:16:28 PM

HiTop

Posts: 21
Joined: 6/26/2005
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In my short time here, it's apparent that while there are lots of female subs, there are even more male Doms. And with that, an old adage applies.... "the odds are good, but the goods are odd"

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RE: am i going about this properly? - 6/29/2005 12:42:13 AM

Gauge

Posts: 783
Joined: 6/17/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: fillepink

on my profile, i say two things that i think are important. first, that i am searching for a Man of great character -- integrity, kindness,, compassion, not bigotted, votes, does not raise His voice in anger, etc.

second, i say i am inexperienced, and will learn to please my Dom, so apart from light bondage and role playing, i have no "kinks" i can share with a Man who contacts me.

i won't say no Man ever emails with a response that reflects these comments, but very, very few do. and i get asked over and over what my sexual practices are, and will i cyber.

is there any way to search for the Man i seek that is better than the one i have on my profile now? ty for any help You can provide. fillepink

OK, you are being honest with what you would like in a Dom. How is there a better way to state what you want than to be honest about it? You will find what you are looking for, but you might kiss a lot of frogs on the way. (No offense to those that like to kiss frogs)

So you are inexperienced... so what? I guess my question to you would be, are there things that you have seen or read about BDSM that have piqued your interest at all? Made you squirm a little? Made you excited just thinking about? Share those things with those that contact you, let them know where your potential interests are. It sure will help a Dominant make a choice if he knows that his potential submissive, lacking experience, is at least thinking of different things to try. For instance, you might have read something about nipple torture that interested you or saw a bit gag in a picture and thought you might like that. Or you read about knife play and cutting and you know it is something you do not want to experience. If you at least give a small foundation in which the Dom can determine if your interests are common or not you might have better success.

I hope this helps.

Good luck on your search!

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RE: am i going about this properly? - 6/29/2005 2:33:58 AM

fillepink

Posts: 123
Joined: 12/18/2004
From: Venus
Status: offline

quote:

So you are inexperienced... so what? I guess my question to you would be, are there things that you have seen or read about BDSM that have piqued your interest at all? Made you squirm a little? Made you excited just thinking about? Share those things with those that contact you, let them know where your potential interests are. It sure will help a Dominant make a choice if he knows that his potential submissive, lacking experience, is at least thinking of different things to try. For instance, you might have read something about nipple torture that interested you or saw a bit gag in a picture and thought you might like that. Or you read about knife play and cutting and you know it is something you do not want to experience. If you at least give a small foundation in which the Dom can determine if your interests are common or not you might have better success.

o yes..i have many, many things i'd like to try..but should i list them on my profile? some sound great in theory but might hurt too much. it's not as if i refuse to share any of my fantasises with the Doms; it's that i get "i liked Your pic" and then i write back "please tell me about Yrself as a Man" and the response is "I have been a Dominant for 11 years; I am strict but fair" *sigh*

maybe it would be better if i said i was just looking for friends?

P.s. i am extremely grateful to A/all who wrote and commented; i know Y/your time is valuable and Y/you did me a kindness. i think by and large, the P/pl here are very generous and wise.

fillepink

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< Message edited by fillepink -- 6/29/2005 2:40:28 AM >

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RE: am i going about this properly? - 6/29/2005 6:10:00 AM

EmeraldSlave2

Posts: 3610
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I think it would only feed the trolls. I list my main kinks out, but in a very factual way. Perhaps put a bit more uniqueness about yourself, your quirks, your funny history, something that someone would remember just from flashing at your profile.

And yes, it's like a needle in a haystack. While I have never been on here actively looking for a relationship, In the year and a half that I've been here, I've only met one person who I felt a lasting connection with.

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RE: am i going about this properly? - 7/1/2005 6:42:42 PM

slavedesires

Posts: 669
Joined: 3/2/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: EmeraldSlave2

I think it would only feed the trolls. I list my main kinks out, but in a very factual way. Perhaps put a bit more uniqueness about yourself, your quirks, your funny history, something that someone would remember just from flashing at your profile.

And yes, it's like a needle in a haystack. While I have never been on here actively looking for a relationship, In the year and a half that I've been here, I've only met one person who I felt a lasting connection with.

from what i have seen so far, she does well in her forum posts...you go girl freind keep it up and very nice profile

~~shy

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RE: am i going about this properly? - 7/2/2005 5:44:00 AM

Focus50

Posts: 423
Joined: 12/28/2004
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I like your profile but I don't think it'd hurt to lose this from it - "novice" is geek bait:
quote:

i am a novice in the lifestyle; and my sexual desires will be shaped by my desire to please my Dom. i am pretty sure i would like bondage (light) and role playing; but i also know my Dom will probably have desires beyond those...

Bondage is the ideal form of physically controlling your sub and both Dom/me and sub love it as a consequence; so it's not really necessary to mention it your profile - leave that for when you're talking to a Dom you connect with....

And I think you could also leave the last 2 paragraphs of your disclaimer out, too - assuming it is what I think; a standard reply to all email? I know it can be a hard thing for some subs to do but basically you should get a little tougher with the geeks who wanna cyber and probe for personal fetishes and fantasies and ignore or even block them if they behave so appallingly.

I can see you're trying to be honest and sincere and there are plenty out there who are, too! So formulate a few private rules for yourself and rather than trying to be polite to everyone who writes, filter out and ignore/block the rude geeks and save yourself the typing. Nothing worse than being slave to your email or keyboard.....

Focus50.

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RE: am i going about this properly? - 7/2/2005 6:19:56 AM

perfection20005

Posts: 412
Joined: 4/20/2005
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Its just a waiting game. Don't just settle for one, wait till you find the right one for you.

perfection

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RE: am i going about this properly? - 7/4/2005 10:44:36 PM

SirDiscipliner69

Posts: 82
Joined: 2/1/2005
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Yes I agree..the same also can be said for subbies...a good one is hard to find without many issues..cyberville is full of them.......it is just like any relationship tho...you need to invest the time in what you want...you project positive you will attract positive...you project negative and you become negative...

Now if you project sluttiness you might just attract Me...

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RE: am i going about this properly? - 7/4/2005 10:51:45 PM

SirDiscipliner69

Posts: 82
Joined: 2/1/2005
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As with anything you need to weed out the wheat from the chaff...Some will be willing to venture into an intellectual journey with you...great thing abiut the mind is you can take it with you anywhere... ;)

Mindset comes with mental stimulation...so given that maybe there isn't alot to stimulate for some...

I have tho in the past almost done a manifesto on reafirming My thoughts and beliefs only to be undermined by a local hot chat guy who was a quick fix for some...

Sometimes I give the benifit of the doubt where it should not be given....

I would put something like "wanting to evoke an age old theme and breathe new life into it thru intellectual stimulation" ...or something like that...

Yet I am a bit of a sadistic romantic attracted to intellect and beauty...so what do I know?