Why is being a Dominant exciting to a Dom?

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Why is being a Dominant exciting to a Dom?

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All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Master >> Why is being a Dominant exciting to a Dom?

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Why is being a Dominant exciting to a Dom? - 6/26/2004 10:04:26 PM

submissvelilbrat

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Joined: 6/25/2004
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i know why i am submissive...i understand what it does for me to be in the submissive role...to be with someOne i trust completely with my body, my heart, my mind and my soul....to know that i am safe and controlled......but what is it about being a Dom that is satisfying for a Dominant? i would like to understand; have thought about it often...but am unable to come up with the answer....can someOne please explain it to me?

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< Message edited by submissvelilbrat -- 6/26/2004 10:07:10 PM >

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RE: Why is being a Dominant exciting to a Dom? - 6/26/2004 11:01:02 PM

TallDarkAndWitty

Posts: 1199
Joined: 6/12/2004
From: Rochester, NY
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quote:

ORIGINAL: submissvelilbrat
i know why i am submissive...i understand what it does for me to be in the submissive role...to be with someOne i trust completely with my body, my heart, my mind and my soul....to know that i am safe and controlled......but what is it about being a Dom that is satisfying for a Dominant? i would like to understand; have thought about it often...but am unable to come up with the answer....can someOne please explain it to me?

There are many ways I could answer this, but it is late and I am going to take the easy way out.

To be with someone who trusts me completely with her body, her heart, her mind and her soul...to know that I make her feel safe and controlled...this does for me what feeling those things does for you.

I don't think I will ever feel the things that submission makes you feel, but I know that you feel them in the same way I feel about dominance. It is like a woman asking a man what it feels like to be inside a woman...we can give you answers from the artistic to the scientific, but you will never be able to know. And maybe life is just better that way. *smile*

Yours,
Taggard

< Message edited by TallDarkAndWitty -- 6/26/2004 11:02:01 PM >

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(in reply to submissvelilbrat)

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RE: Why is being a Dominant exciting to a Dom? - 6/27/2004 12:02:48 PM

topcat

Posts: 1013
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Long Island
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quote:

what is it about being a Dom that is satisfying for a Dominant?

Midear Brat-

There is, on the most easily accessible level, the sense of the joy of doing something really well, with grace and deftness, of being in that place where one does the difficult easily. On an even more surface level, there's the feedback from the subject of my attentions (oh god- there is nothing more wonderful that that post scene whisper "...how did you know?") and the feedback from other observers, if present.

So it feeds the need for validation, both external and internal, but there's more.

Somewhere inside is a child who wasn't heard, small and powerless. It's good for him.

stay warm,

Lawrence

_____________________________

-there is no remission without blood-

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RE: Why is being a Dominant exciting to a Dom? - 6/27/2004 7:45:50 PM

Sinergy

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Joined: 4/26/2004
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Interesting topic.

I keep flashing back to Mask where the boy shows the blind girl what red looks like by putting a hot rock in her hand.

Have you ever read about peak experiences? People brave death and crippling injuries to climb Mt. Everest. There may have
been a point to climbing to the top of a snow covered hilltop before Norgay climbed it, but now it is so yesterday's news. Except there was the guy a few years ago who jogged to the top and back, and next week there will be a troupe of skateboarders doing it, but I digress...

There is a space that a person (from what I have read) finds as a performer, as an athlete, (or that I have experienced teaching my class, scening, sparring, etc) as whatever, where all of reality melts away for me and all that is left is myself and the people I am involved with. For me there is a mental silence that is deafening. There is no future, there is no past, there is no emotion, it is being in The moment in a way which I cannot find in my daily life.

There is just me and my partner. And there is such a wondrous beauty in the moment that I get all giddy and weak kneed thinking about it.

Hope this helps,

Sinergy

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(in reply to topcat)

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RE: Why is being a Dominant exciting to a Dom? - 6/28/2004 6:09:50 AM

Sylverdawn

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Joined: 1/1/2004
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quote:

For me there is a mental silence that is deafening. There is no future, there is no past, there is no emotion, it is being in The moment in a way which I cannot find in my daily life.

I am not by nature or inclination a person who is quiet.. my mind is a constant jumble of thoughts ideas images ... I am one of those constant chaotic global thinkers.. Having a conversation with me can start out at point A..go to point C.. then off to point Q.. then back to the orginal topic.. or not.. following my train of thought is like navigating an ant hill..busy, confusing and dangerous at times

But in the moment of control when my mutli tasking brain is completely focused on the task at hand.. the next placement of the whip, the next knot.. the extraction of a specific reaction.. the noise that I inhabit fades to a background hum.. the picture in my head becomes sharper.. my interest becomes singular and I flow... I find a place of quiet relaxation..inside my own head.. there is just me my partner and the moment.. its singery, its singular its all slowmoving sensation... for me its a place I find in no other medium. Its my art.

_____________________________

"Yes, we women are inventive," she said. "Be careful. When you find your ideal, she might easily treat you more cruelly than you like."

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RE: Why is being a Dominant exciting to a Dom? - 6/28/2004 7:52:09 AM

January

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Awesome post, Sylverdawn!

Interestingly, your description topping--of your focus and flow and sensation--is what being a bottom feels like to me! Do you suppose tops and bottoms crave the same thing, and end up in similar places?

January

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Half of the harm that is done in this world is due to people who want to feel important. They don't mean to do harm but the harm does not interest them. -- T. S. Eliot

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RE: Why is being a Dominant exciting to a Dom? - 6/28/2004 5:26:53 PM

ThornBlood

Posts: 80
Joined: 3/5/2004
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Very interesting
I believe it is more the extraordinary sense of power that given by the submission. I find it hard sometimes to get.. in the moment. It happens rarely, and not every time. Especially if it is the first time trying something for real no matter how much you've practiced.

(in reply to January)

Post #: 7

RE: Why is being a Dominant exciting to a Dom? - 6/28/2004 7:41:21 PM

sadisticbastard

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Joined: 6/10/2004
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For me it is being responsibile for the wellbeing and growth of someone as a slave and person, To watch them grow into toal slavery in mind and body, knowing that YOU directed it, guidied them into it and made them what they are. A true slave is born into slavery but still needs to direction, guidence, love, support and leadership of the right Master to bring out their full potential AS a slave. It is also the emotional high of having a slave who gives you unlimited love and respect, knowing that you EARNED that love and respect and when she feels safe in your arms, even though you are sadistic and have the ability to make her cry then you know you have the best she can give. I also have found that being responsible for another person and making HER a better person and slave also makes ME a better Master and brings out MY full potential as a Master.

(in reply to submissvelilbrat)

Post #: 8

RE: Why is being a Dominant exciting to a Dom? - 6/28/2004 8:29:46 PM

MasterDerek5

Posts: 15
Joined: 6/24/2004
Status: offline

First I find the gift of submission to be something wonderful. I have slaves who say theirs is not a gift because they belong as a true slave they belong to me and I take what they are. I allow them this but in reality I take only what they offer me and for someone to offer me their complete trust, love, devotion, mind, body and soul... there can be no greater feeling.

Second to watch their training progress, to push their limits to new heights and overcome their own obsticles is truely wonderous. Having them experience one more orgasm than last time, to watch them push themselves for me fills me with unbelieveable pride.

My slaves are cherished gifts given freely and there is no better joy than to fully experience life by their side.

I must admit I also have a very creative imagination that sometimes turns very erotic and devious... listing to their breathing become shallow as they begin to peak for yet another orgasm is delicisous... just one more then another then another...

Master Derek

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RE: Why is being a Dominant exciting to a Dom? - 6/28/2004 11:16:05 PM

Sylverdawn

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I suppose so.. January.. its all about headspace.

For submissive's and for Dom's its about finding and keeping that space.. for me there are different levels ... there are those startlingly exhausting moments of clarity I find during an intense scene.. and a completely different and yet just as satifisfying feeling of watching a submissive take a those tenative steps forward under my direction ..when they release their fears and relax into my domination. Im sure the feelings are similar and yet different.. it is our Ying to your Yang.. because while one can exist without the other.. it is not complete or whole until the other is there to compliment it.

< Message edited by Sylverdawn -- 6/28/2004 11:19:16 PM >

_____________________________

"Yes, we women are inventive," she said. "Be careful. When you find your ideal, she might easily treat you more cruelly than you like."

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RE: Why is being a Dominant exciting to a Dom? - 6/29/2004 5:08:57 AM

Asmodeus

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Joined: 1/1/2004
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To me, it is about control and power; to be able to take someone to a place that without me they cannot go. To understand their nature batter than they themselves understand it. To push their limits and watch them grow.

To know that without me they would be lost and searching for what they need to be complete.

(in reply to Sylverdawn)

Post #: 11

RE: Why is being a Dominant exciting to a Dom? - 6/29/2004 5:15:46 AM

topcat

Posts: 1013
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Long Island
Status: offline

quote:

I also have found that being responsible for another person and making HER a better person and slave also makes ME a better Master and brings out MY full potential as a Master.

M. SB-

There's a good point, too- The more I control her life's details, the better I keep my own affairs in order.

stay warm,
Lawrence

_____________________________

-there is no remission without blood-

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RE: Why is being a Dominant exciting to a Dom? - 7/9/2004 11:54:11 PM

DomSatyr

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Joined: 5/23/2004
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I have been asked this before. I don't know if I will do any better this time at explaining, but I will try. My submissive is My instriment and My audience, with her and to her I play a great symphony of sensations - every note perfectly timed, every nuance leading to the conclusion. My performance and My ability to take her farther than anyone else has ever taken her is that by which I measure Myself. Her total trust in Me that allows her vulnerability in and out of a scene validates who and what I am. As far as why I would want the heady responsibility that goes with being someones Master (I was asked this by the same subbie), it's who and what I am.

(in reply to submissvelilbrat)

Post #: 13

RE: Why is being a Dominant exciting to a Dom? - 7/10/2004 1:31:27 AM

Estring

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Joined: 1/1/2004
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To see a slave blossom through my control of her. To feel her give her all to me. Mind, body and soul. To protect and teach her to serve. To be able to be a Man as I was meant to be. And to look into her eyes and see that she would do anything for me.

(in reply to submissvelilbrat)

Post #: 14

RE: Why is being a Dominant exciting to a Dom? - 7/10/2004 7:02:04 AM

LadyBeckett

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Joined: 2/4/2004
From: Scotland/Tennessee
Status: offline

Everything I've read thusfar is true, and I can identify with everything that has been posted. Reading along and nodding in the affirmative. However, it was when I got here:

quote:

ORIGINAL: Estring

To see a slave blossom through my control of her. To feel her give her all to me. Mind, body and soul. To protect and teach her to serve. To be able to be a Man as I was meant to be. And to look into her eyes and see that she would do anything for me.

That I realized Estring had embraced a thought that was in my mind. Those of us that live the lifestyle 24/7. We look into one another's eyes and know that we would do anything for one another, within our respective roles in the relationship. That becomes rather awesome.

_____________________________

Lady Beckett

_____________________________________

"Submissive boys yearn to fall into their proper place, so that the rest of their life will." ~ Lady Beckett

(in reply to Estring)

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RE: Why is being a Dominant exciting to a Dom? - 7/10/2004 9:06:59 PM

Sundew02

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Joined: 2/6/2004
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There is nothing to compare with the look of total trust in a submissives eyes. The complete peace and calm following a session. I can understand a submissives need to be controlled, but I could never relax and feel that same peace of mind and body if I were the one being controlled. I am not near perfect, and I accept the responsibility for my mistakes. That is part of the challenge that I so enjoy from being the Dominant. Running the risks, and making the decisions, now that is a mental high I will always crave. Tess

_____________________________

~~~~~Enjoy the ride, the landing could get painful~~~~

(in reply to LadyBeckett)

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RE: Why is being a Dominant exciting to a Dom? - 7/11/2004 9:34:42 AM

melycious

Posts: 45
Joined: 1/20/2004
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~grins.... i ask this question all the time.. i know why i LOVE the fact that you are a Dom or a Top..but i dont get why you like it.. *grins* .. and i have come to the conclusion that there are definately somethings that you really dont need to know, to appreciate the ride..

i might love rollercoasters, but i dont need to know the inner workings of how they built it, what kind of steel is being used, what kind of rivets there are holding it together, all i really need to know, is.. that there is a safety certificate, its been inspected, and the ride will be exhilarating. Yes, there is the danger that even if inspected yesterday, the ride might be a bit dangerous, a screw might fall out, but the safety things in place are there. ..

*grins.. looks around at the folks i spent the weekend with.. and the rollercoaster worked fine, sherri was operating heavy machinery.. but we kept her blood inside her body and made it a vanilla weekend
for her!! lol

mely.....

(in reply to submissvelilbrat)

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RE: Why is being a Dominant exciting to a Dom? - 7/11/2004 6:20:48 PM

MrThorns

Posts: 801
Joined: 6/4/2004
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Nice topic...but Gads! Where to start?

I am a huge believer in trust and I find a lot of happiness in knowing that people can trust me. Especially when their lives are quite literally in my hands. I enjoy , (As an earlier poster had said), knowing that the respect I am getting from my slave has been earned. I enjoy the bursts of adrenelin I get while in the middle of a good flogging...or better yet, the exhilaration of completely letting go of the cages around my own primal "Beastie" and taking myself (and my slave) as far as we can possibly go. I enjoy the security of control and I am comfortable in positions of authority.

All of these things contribute to the warm fuzzies I get within my dominance. There are quite a few more, but this is the basic list.

~Thorns

(in reply to submissvelilbrat)

Post #: 18

RE: Why is being a Dominant exciting to a Dom? - 7/11/2004 9:22:19 PM

Sinergy

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Joined: 4/26/2004
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Need a question answered, it is important to research it extensively.

http://www.fanta.dk/news.asp?nid=0732EC34-074C-4BF1-A435-4A328371A29B

Sinergy

_____________________________

"Why am I surrounded by fricking idiots?" Dr. Evil

"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle, 44th Vice President of the United States

(in reply to MrThorns)

Post #: 19

RE: Why is being a Dominant exciting to a Dom? - 7/12/2004 8:31:20 AM

Thanatosian

Posts: 688
Joined: 5/10/2004
From: New Castle, PA
Status: offline

okay - smartass answer - it just is

on a more serious level, well, everything I want to say on a serious level has pretty much already been said by others - the trust being given, seeing her grow and glow, the cathartic release of my own 'demons', etc.

pretty much just posted to get the smartass answer out of my system

Apply usual caveats here

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An expert is somone who has made all the mistakes there are to be made

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Post #: 20

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