When is the right time to collar?

Join Our Community

As the Collar Turns:

Collarchat.com - BDSM Forum

Home Login Event Calendars Search

When is the right time to collar?

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Master >> When is the right time to collar?

Page: [1]

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

When is the right time to collar? - 3/6/2005 1:40:36 AM

Lighttouch2000

Posts: 2
Joined: 1/20/2005
Status: offline

I would like to know how can you tell or know when is it the right time to collar someone?

Profile

Post #: 1

RE: When is the right time to collar? - 3/6/2005 2:39:11 AM

Jasmyn

Posts: 428
Joined: 2/6/2004
From: New Zealand
Status: offline

Is there a purpose to this collar? Collars will mean different things to different people. Best to define why you want to place a collar about someone and then concern yourself when.

_____________________________

quote:

"To learn the art of submission a slave must first give up the desires that drew him to submission in the first place." Mistress Jasmyn Jan 2005.

(in reply to Lighttouch2000)

Profile

Post #: 2

RE: When is the right time to collar? - 3/6/2005 5:19:50 AM

Interesdom

Posts: 55
Joined: 5/24/2004
From: England
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Jasmyn
Is there a purpose to this collar? Collars will mean different things to different people. Best to define why you want to place a collar about someone and then concern yourself when.

I quite agree. It very much depends on what the collar is for and what it is supposed to mean to the people involved.

Be as sure as you can that the collar will not mean more to the submissive than they think it means but if it is their first ever collar, it may well have a greater emotional impact on them than they expect - not always positive.

(in reply to Jasmyn)

Profile

Post #: 3

RE: When is the right time to collar? - 3/6/2005 8:40:54 AM

EmeraldSlave2

Posts: 3610
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

I would find it refreshing for a dom NOT to use a collar :) I see too many subs cling to their collars like lifeboats instead of learning and pushing their own sense of security, without external pretty trinkets to show off.

(in reply to Interesdom)

Profile

Post #: 4

RE: When is the right time to collar? - 3/6/2005 10:34:25 AM

Alexander

Posts: 159
Joined: 12/10/2004
Status: offline

I like red/black ribbon. Its just hard to hook a leash into

(in reply to EmeraldSlave2)

Profile

Post #: 5

RE: When is the right time to collar? - 3/6/2005 10:45:44 AM

tomtom1877

Posts: 14
Joined: 12/12/2004
Status: offline

There is nothing worse than removing a collar that was given too soon. It causes a tremendous amount of brain damage in a sub and I see this online all the time.

A collar is a reward and it shouldn't be given in haste.

A sub should be taught to strive for it, to reach for it and to work toward it as a goal in their training.

Some Doms collar to corral their sub, to keep them in their "flock," so to speak. I don't like that thinking. An uncollared sub that wanders off would have wandered off anyway. Collaring doesn't keep them inslaved.

So, for me, it is the golden ring in my subs training. The first big accomplishment in their new lives with me.

(in reply to EmeraldSlave2)

Profile

Post #: 6

RE: When is the right time to collar? - 3/6/2005 3:28:20 PM

Lovinit

Posts: 21
Joined: 9/7/2004
Status: offline

I agree with all of the responses. I am a collared slut who did not receive my own personal collar until I proved myself. I was put through many different circumstances and situations to earn my collar. I believe collars should not be just given out. I am sure everyone has heard of having to earn what you want!!!

Lovinit

(in reply to tomtom1877)

Profile

Post #: 7

RE: When is the right time to collar? - 3/6/2005 3:51:17 PM

BeachMystress

Posts: 1291
Joined: 4/3/2004
From: South Bay (LA area), CA - Southern California
Status: offline

To me, there are training collars and formal collars. To me, if you have to announce a "collar of consideration," IE going steady, you're either very young or very insecure. Collars have a very traditional place in BDSM and symbolize deep commitment.

I feel collars are a lifelink. It is not something to be undertaken lightly or easily on either side. A training collar, to me, is akin to engagement and the formal collar the same as marriage. Unfortunately, as we see too often today, institutions that should be sacred, such as marriage or collaring, are undertaken with the idea that if they do not work, they can just be undone. I see the velcro collars more online than in real life, thankfully. Most people are more knowledgeable once they hit the real time scene and aren't in the offer-everyone-a-collar mode

As to when they should be offered, when are you ready to make a life commitment of some type to a person? Sometimes, people know it is right after a very short time, other times it takes years. There is no rush to collar, and I do not feel it is "earned" per say. Collars do not have to reflect a love commitment, but whatever relationship they symbolize, love/service/devotion is for life.

_____________________________

~Beach Mystress
*Do not threaten the weak. Intimidate the strong. ~ Stevenson*

http://www.myspace.com/beachmystress
http://www.myspace.com/beachs_toyboy

(in reply to Lighttouch2000)

Profile

Post #: 8

RE: When is the right time to collar? - 3/6/2005 4:38:41 PM

Voltare

Posts: 467
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: Santiago, Chile
Status: offline

To keep from waxing poetic and doting on each possible scenerio, I'll be blunt.

I firmly believe it is for the submissive to ask/beg for a collar.

Obviously, this isn't such a simple issue, as the weight (in my mind) of the collar is as BeachMystress states, that it carries the same kind of weight and committment as a wedding band. If a submissive just popped the question while we are watching the Simpsons, it would probably be unexpected. Rather, well before the collar is asked for/given it should have been discussed from top to bottom, left to right, inside and out.

As suggested, the collar should mean.... blah blah blah blah blah to me. That doesn't mean it means the same for you. Whatever you wish it to mean in your relationship, is entirely your perogative. Just know what you are getting into, and make sure it meets your needs (and the needs of your partner.)

Stephan

_____________________________

[GEEK] Me [/GEEK]
"There is always some madness in love, but there is also always some reason in madness" - Nietzsche
[image]http://img2.exs.cx/img2/7251/voltare-death.gif[/image]

(in reply to BeachMystress)

Profile

Post #: 9

RE: When is the right time to collar? - 3/6/2005 6:30:20 PM

domtimothy46176

Posts: 636
Joined: 12/25/2004
From: Central Indiana
Status: offline

If the purpose of the collar is to formalize a long-term/permanent relationship, you might consider the collar to be as symbolic as a wedding ring and take your time accordingly.
Timothy

_____________________________

*DISCLAIMER* The above consitutes the thoughts, opinions and actions
of the author. No warranty is expressed or implied. Read at your own risk.

Body jewelry and more at wholesale prices
http://stores.ebay.com/T-and-J-Enterprises

(in reply to Voltare)

Profile

Post #: 10

RE: When is the right time to collar? - 3/6/2005 9:14:46 PM

subgreg

Posts: 46
Joined: 11/29/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: tomtom1877

A collar is a reward and it shouldn't be given in haste.

A sub should be taught to strive for it, to reach for it and to work toward it as a goal in their training.

I do not feel this idea is wrong... just slightly off. I serve Ma'am because I love her and wish to make her happy. I will be collared soon (though I feel I am already), and when that happens, it will not be as a reward for service well done, but rather a natural progression of our love for, and commitment to, each other.

_____________________________

Beach's toyboy
"The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation"
~~~
http://www.myspace.com/beachs_toyboy

(in reply to tomtom1877)

Profile

Post #: 11