What to do with a pouting slave?

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What to do with a pouting slave?

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All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Master >> What to do with a pouting slave?

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What to do with a pouting slave? - 9/23/2005 12:15:32 PM

Rascalyrabbit

Posts: 56
Joined: 6/15/2005
Status: offline

Has anyone ever had their slave embarrass them in public before? If so, how did you deal with it?

Let me give you a little background on what happened. My slave and I went to a friends birthday at a club. My slave was the designated driver for me and the birthday girl. Once at the club, everyone was drinking. She sat on her chair and looked like she was pouting. I tried for about 3 hours to cheer her up. Eventually she went out and sat in the car. At one point the birthday girl came in and asked me to go see what was wrong with her. I went out to the car and my slave explained that she was upset because she wasn't as "fun" as she used to be and she felt left out. So I became upset because the birthday girl told me that we could just go home if my slave wanted to. This was embarrassing to me that we would have to take the birthday girl home early when everyone was at the party to celebrate. So then, another friend of ours came out of the party and sat in the car and talked to my slave for a while. This upset me more because now another person was pulled from the party and my slave was causing a scene. Not long after that we took the birthday girl home. Now I can understand why she was upset, but I dont understand the need or the behavior that she displayed.

So, now I'm scared that my slave might do something like this again, and I'm wondering if a punishment is in store, or if I should just sit down and talk to her about this. If there is one thing I dislike, its a pouting slave, and it seems that the last week or so thats all she does is pout about things. Any advise?

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Post #: 1

RE: What to do with a pouting slave? - 9/23/2005 12:30:30 PM

EmeraldSlave2

Posts: 3610
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

Wow that's heavy drama.

Obviously you need to figure out
a) what she's REALLY upset about
b) why on earth she felt it was even anywhere near appropriate to pull off such a childish act

She felt left out, how? why? Just because she couldn't have alcohol? Was she insecure about not being the special attention birthday girl? Are there other insecurity issues here?

Figure that out first and foremost because that will help you most in the long run.

As far as the inappropriateness, that will take a strong lecture about exactly why it was wrong, exactly how anyone above a 16 yo girl level should not only know better than to act like that but would know how to control herself even if she WANTED to act like that. It wasn't her party and she won't cry if she wants to.

Punishment depends on whether you do punishment or not. The things I've said above should go a long way to correcting any adult's behavior problem if they are actively trying to submit and grow. But if you do want a punishment you can make sure she stays home next time you go out so a) she doesn't have to feel so left out at the party and b) you don't have to worry about her making a scene and ruining the night for others. She can spend the night inside thinking about the nature of fun and social groups and writing a list of exactly what she CAN do to enjoy herself and help feel more social in the future.

But that comes ONLY after you REALLY understand the causes of this. Otherwise, anything else you do will be useless.

(in reply to Rascalyrabbit)

Post #: 2

RE: What to do with a pouting slave? - 9/23/2005 12:35:45 PM

Sartoris32801

Posts: 172
Joined: 7/19/2005
Status: offline

No doubt you'll get a variety of opinions and in general we don't know enough about your relationship to attempt to offer advice.
I can comment only on what I've read. Having said that, this was behavior that calls for punishment.
If it is not too far removed from the event and if you know what is in fact punishment to your slave / submissive.

I agree with Emerald she may well need to be left out of the next party and told why,perhaps even restrained so as not to be able to enjoy and entertainment while you attend

Sartoris

< Message edited by Sartoris32801 -- 9/23/2005 12:39:07 PM >

(in reply to Rascalyrabbit)

Post #: 3

RE: What to do with a pouting slave? - 9/23/2005 12:41:29 PM

RainGod

Posts: 230
Joined: 7/11/2005
From: Hendersonville, NC
Status: offline

Wow! I am with EmeraldSlave on this one... that is huge drama, and very inexcusable in My opinion.

Hard to say what you should do about it, but if she persisted in these behaviors, I would have to say dismiss her if working with her did no good.

Maybe I am just getting old, but pouting and fit throwing are slightly undesirable to Me.

(in reply to EmeraldSlave2)

Post #: 4

RE: What to do with a pouting slave? - 9/23/2005 12:47:31 PM

theRose4U

Posts: 495
Joined: 8/22/2005
Status: offline

EEEK I'm wondering why this was allowed to go this far. 1st off I would have found out early on (not for 3 hours) why she did not feel included & make a real effort even with just a touch & proximity to include her. If the pouting continued I would have pulled a sub into a corner & told them in no uncertain terms that they are behaving inappropriately & that if they do not IMMEDATELY work it out there would be consequences. ( I do not speak of slaves as I have never owned one )

I would for sure say that at least a firm discussion is in order. I can't imagine holding onto something like this for a week let alone having someone in my service behaving like this long term. Immediate discussion is in order. Unprofessional behavior ( rudness, anything that leads to embarassment or inappropriate comments/clothing/ behavior) by most would not be tolerated. This person is an extension of you & should know what behavior is & is not tolerated.

The first question in my mind is does she KNOW in specific outlined terms how she is expected to behave? While a sub of mine would be rather firmly repremanded it is only because they have been told (warned if you will) IN ADVANCE of what is expected. I think Merc or maybe JohnWarren? once said that any failure of the sub/slave should first be judged for a failure of the Dom/me to communicate the expectation. Just a thought

(in reply to Rascalyrabbit)

Post #: 5

RE: What to do with a pouting slave? - 9/23/2005 12:50:02 PM

girl4you2

Posts: 1259
Joined: 8/4/2005
Status: offline

i must say that i am also in agreement with what EmeraldSlave said. finding out the root cause of the behavior is important. there really should be no reason to have taken this public, when she should have waited to talk to you about it instead. it's certainly not behavior that should be condoned, tolerated, nor expected.

(in reply to Rascalyrabbit)

Post #: 6

RE: What to do with a pouting slave? - 9/23/2005 1:47:44 PM

Kinkypupper

Posts: 414
Joined: 9/26/2004
From: Portland oregon
Status: offline

Is she a true "slave" or more of a submissive.

Sounds like you gave her a task and she pitches a tissy fit.
But then you allowed her to "top" you in that environment so you cannot punnish her for doing what you told her too.
You need to look inward toward yourself and not be "worried" about a reoccurance like this

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(in reply to Rascalyrabbit)

Post #: 7

RE: What to do with a pouting slave? - 9/23/2005 2:53:00 PM

IronBear

Posts: 2678
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Kinkypupper

Is she a true "slave" or more of a submissive.

Sounds like you gave her a task and she pitches a tissy fit.
But then you allowed her to "top" you in that environment so you cannot punnish her for doing what you told her too.
You need to look inward toward yourself and not be "worried" about a reoccurance like this

If and only if pouting is part of a game I approve of under certain circumstances, I will allow it. (E.g. a slave in my collar comes and askes me if I need something to eat or drink and I tell her no. She may well give me a little pout and then break into a radient smile and carry on with her tasks or remain kneeling by my left thigh. Also she may pout when I'm teasing her. Pout not sulk or do the drama queen act).

If however any girl in my collar acted like that one. Irrespective of her excuses, she would know that when I was ready she would be required ro crawl in front of my entire household, get and return to me with a quirt in her mouth and be severly punished publically. Any repeat performances would see her departing my home asap. No and I repeat no property of mine will be allowed this behaviour. beside dishonouring her collar and my hiome, she has lost all value (on her second such performance).

_____________________________

Be Well
Iron Bear

Master of House Iron Bear

Yes, I am a Master, but not your Master..........

The Incorrigible, irrepressible, irreverent grizzly

(in reply to Kinkypupper)

Post #: 8

RE: What to do with a pouting slave? - 9/23/2005 2:59:14 PM

SirFire4Her

Posts: 7
Joined: 9/12/2005
Status: offline

Hello I was the birthday girl there and I witnessed this whole thing. RascalyRabbit did talk to her slave about why she did this and why she felt left out..She is just looking for a punishment for her slave now....any sugestions..I rellay like the leaveing her at home and restraining her.

(in reply to Kinkypupper)

Post #: 9

RE: What to do with a pouting slave? - 9/23/2005 2:59:34 PM

Lordandmaster

Posts: 2294
Joined: 6/22/2004
Status: offline

Something is wrong if YOU'RE scared.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Rascalyrabbit

So, now I'm scared that my slave might do something like this again, and I'm wondering if a punishment is in store, or if I should just sit down and talk to her about this.

(in reply to Rascalyrabbit)

Post #: 10

RE: What to do with a pouting slave? - 9/23/2005 3:07:27 PM

nonuts4thshoney

Posts: 534
Joined: 6/12/2005
From: Southern California
Status: offline

.

< Message edited by nonuts4thshoney -- 9/26/2005 4:19:23 PM >

(in reply to Kinkypupper)

Post #: 11

RE: What to do with a pouting slave? - 9/23/2005 3:32:47 PM

MasterBenedict

Posts: 231
Joined: 1/25/2005
From: AnTir
Status: offline

Well, I'm not too sure, not being there myself. but I would give her a slap!! (Iprivate) and then make her wear a tack bra for the next 2 or 3 times y'all are together.
MB

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If you can LAUGH at it you can live WITH it!

(in reply to Lordandmaster)

Post #: 12

RE: What to do with a pouting slave? - 9/23/2005 3:34:55 PM

KatyLied

Posts: 1512
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline

quote:

Is she a true "slave" or more of a submissive.

arghhh. Are you saying that subs are more pouty than slaves? The behavior that was exhibited was immature. Period.

(in reply to nonuts4thshoney)

Post #: 13

RE: What to do with a pouting slave? - 9/23/2005 3:49:03 PM

theRose4U

Posts: 495
Joined: 8/22/2005
Status: offline

quote:

It hit me like a rock because i realized that i have changed and wasn't the same person that i used to be around them. i went outside to get some air and to have a moment to myself because i was a little saddedned by this

If this is truely the case you seem to have a LOT to make up to your master. If the feelings are truely this simple they should have been explained immediately. It is however your masters perogative as to how quickly these feelings are fully discussed & explored. In public ABSOLUTELY IS NEVER the appropriate time to pout, sulk or otherwise make negative feelings everyone elses issue. By 2 posts here it does appear that your feelings & insecurities became everyone elses problem or "buzz kill" if you will.

quote:

ORIGINAL: nonuts4thshoney

i am a better person now. i meant no harm. and i meant no disrespect.

Third hand not being a fly on the wall it does not appear that your Master feels the same way. Therefore you have not only the miscommunication of your feelings & failure to trust your Master to guide you through them to deal with but the shame that your master felt at your behavior.

(in reply to nonuts4thshoney)

Post #: 14

RE: What to do with a pouting slave? - 9/23/2005 4:05:08 PM

nonuts4thshoney

Posts: 534
Joined: 6/12/2005
From: Southern California
Status: offline

.

< Message edited by nonuts4thshoney -- 9/26/2005 4:19:53 PM >

(in reply to theRose4U)

Post #: 15

RE: What to do with a pouting slave? - 9/23/2005 5:20:03 PM

WickedKev

Posts: 305
Joined: 11/26/2004
Status: offline

Not knowing you or your slave I can only give you an answer based upon what I would have done if my slave behaved that way. One I would know her behavior would not be because she felt left out not being able to drink as I do not allow her to drink except and very rare occasions and even then only one glass of wine. Which I might add is more than I would drink. SO for me it would be the not being the centre of attention and for that I would make her it. If it was a BDSM party she would be stripped naked made to kneel in the centre of the floor arms behind her head and not allowed to talk to anyone. And she would have stayed that way for a very long time. If it was a vanilla party I would think of something just a serious but less embaressing for the guests Hard maybe but then thats just me....

(in reply to Rascalyrabbit)

Post #: 16

RE: What to do with a pouting slave? - 9/23/2005 5:24:31 PM

krys

Posts: 297
Joined: 8/24/2005
Status: offline

Hmmm... strange behavior in a woman who is preparing to conceive? I would suggest a pregnancy test. Hormones cause rampant insanity.

If that is not the root cause, it is rather unfair to ruin everyone else's good time to contemplate changes in one's own life and personality. There is plenty of time for that at home instead of the middle of someone's birthday celebration.

I agree that not being included in the next celebration is a good idea. And perhaps in the spare time with nothing else to do, a lengthy essay on why and how this behavior was inappropriate, the negative effect it has everyone else around you, and how it causes one's owner embarassment? Just make sure that it is clear that excuses or explanations for said behavior are not acceptable.

_____________________________

kry{Rk}

(in reply to nonuts4thshoney)

Post #: 17

RE: What to do with a pouting slave? - 9/23/2005 5:46:07 PM

nonuts4thshoney

Posts: 534
Joined: 6/12/2005
From: Southern California
Status: offline

.

< Message edited by nonuts4thshoney -- 9/26/2005 4:20:11 PM >

(in reply to krys)

Post #: 18

RE: What to do with a pouting slave? - 9/23/2005 5:47:33 PM

nonuts4thshoney

Posts: 534
Joined: 6/12/2005
From: Southern California
Status: offline

.

< Message edited by nonuts4thshoney -- 9/26/2005 4:20:29 PM >

(in reply to nonuts4thshoney)

Post #: 19

RE: What to do with a pouting slave? - 9/23/2005 5:50:50 PM

fastlane

Posts: 1386
Joined: 5/26/2005
Status: offline

Next time find a designated slave....and you drive!

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Just because it hurts, doesn't necessarily make it a bad thing.

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Post #: 20

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