Collarchat.com

Join Our Community		 As the Collar Turns:
 Collarchat.com - BDSM Forum

Home  Login  Event Calendars  Search 
Espanol  Deutsch  Francais  Italiano  Portugues 

Master or Mistress


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Master >> Master or Mistress Page: [1]
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
Master or Mistress - 7/28/2005 8:45:41 AM   
blackwolf99


Posts: 30
Joined: 3/15/2005
Status: offline 		Ok I have a question, that is likely to invite big flaming critisims upon myself. I would like to start by saying I ask out of my own selfproclaimed ignorrance, and curiousity. It is not a declaration of war or anything like that.

Ok here goes..

In the forums we have two sections -

Ask a Master
and
Ask a Mistress

I have always thought of these as being gender specific. But Ive notice a fair number of females Dominants post here and many even refer to themselves as Masters. So I am thinking it isnt (as previously thought) gender specific. Everyone defines them self individually. So if it is not gender specific, where does the difference lie. Or has Master become a generic term for Dominant?

Now Ladies before you come charging after me with torches and pichfork and a noose,
I would like to say, this is not to say you are unwelcome here. I very much value your opinion as much anyones. I was merely asking from a point of my own ignorrance, and pure curiousity.

Hey! No tar and feathering either !

* ducks behind his spanking bench *

< Message edited by blackwolf99 -- 7/28/2005 8:47:20 AM >
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Master or Mistress - 7/28/2005 8:54:47 AM   
mnottertail


Posts: 1886
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		Actually, I see what for the sake of argument I will call Dominas posting opinions to Ask a Master, as well as Dominants posting opinions to Ask a Mistress, and submissives and slaves posting opinions to anything they damn well please. I love the imbriglio. I think Domination/Submission Sado/Macho is not at all gender specific, and think the world is a better place for it. Just love it when a plan comes together....... In that respect I truely do think we are "The largest community on the planet". Fortunately or if you will have it: unfortunately -- the bobsled is headed straight to hell immediatly after that.

Peace, Love a dove and Hamburgers to all,

Ron

_____________________________

"Schlau, aber nichts wahr" Albert Einstein

(in reply to blackwolf99)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Master or Mistress - 7/28/2005 8:57:12 AM   
plantlady64


Posts: 684
Joined: 5/19/2005
Status: offline 		Hello There,
I think what happens is that all of us are to post one message in one area only. So the rest of us still have an opinion of the questions asked and as the question isn't posted on all forums we all feel we have the right to answer. I (a sub) have even answered questions in the Master/Mistress arena.
Pretty much when I post a message I post it in the arena the question is directed, but I enjoy the responses from all who take the time out of their day to reply.
I've also seen when the person who adds their imput isn't part of the specific catagory the question's directed to 9 out of 10 times they mention in their reply with I'm a (fill in the blank) to remind people it's not necessarily their catagory.
Sincerely,
sub suzanne

(in reply to blackwolf99)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Master or Mistress - 7/28/2005 9:29:17 AM   
blackwolf99


Posts: 30
Joined: 3/15/2005
Status: offline 		I think my question is not so much about who posts where. Obviously everyones opinions are welcome regardless of how you define one self.

I guess more to point is female Dominants refeing to themselves as Master (which I do not object to in any way) I was just curious if the term Master had become a generic term for Dominant, or if there was a difference that is not gender specific. I have also seen people makinig a seperation between Dom and Top, which I have used as interchangable. Further I dont see Dommes used much any more. It seems that many women have sought to have a sepreate identity from men in a (sry, not right, but true) male dominated world. It seems strange to share a tiltle normal used by men. Its the same as the disappearance of the word 'actress'. Now all are 'actors' whether male or female.

(in reply to blackwolf99)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Master or Mistress - 7/28/2005 9:59:12 AM   
EmeraldSlave2


Posts: 3610
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		I wish people would stop using "domme" as I consider it about as bad as "subbie" especially when people pronounce it "dom-may" ewwwww

But that's just my own personal preferences.


(in reply to blackwolf99)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Master or Mistress - 7/28/2005 12:25:52 PM   
TallDarkAndWitty


Posts: 1199
Joined: 6/12/2004
From: Rochester, NY
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: EmeraldSlave2
I wish people would stop using "domme" as I consider it about as bad as "subbie" especially when people pronounce it "dom-may" ewwwww


I'm completely with you on this...yet I'd advise against calling any Dom-may Mistress as well. If they aren't your Mistress they tend to get a bit bent out of shape. Though, on second thought, you'd prolly enjoy it. *smile*

Taggard

_____________________________

A most rewarding compliment is an insult from the ill-informed.
http://bdsm.taggard.net

(in reply to EmeraldSlave2)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Master or Mistress - 7/28/2005 10:02:51 PM   
BlkTallFullfig


Posts: 2933
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: EmeraldSlave2
I wish people would stop using "domme" as I consider it about as bad as "subbie" especially when people pronounce it "dom-may" ewwwww

But that's just my own personal preferences.

I didn't know people were calling you that (Domme)?
I don't mind Domme at all, and will correct anyone I talk to who says Dom may because that sounds terrible I think. M

_____________________________

"touching was and still is and will always be the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni

(in reply to EmeraldSlave2)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Master or Mistress - 7/28/2005 10:10:08 PM   
onceburned


Posts: 2081
Joined: 1/4/2005
From: Iowa
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: blackwolf99
. So if it is not gender specific, where does the difference lie. Or has Master become a generic term for Dominant?


Actually, I have seen several female dominants in the Leather community referred to as Master.

_____________________________



(in reply to blackwolf99)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Master or Mistress - 7/28/2005 11:26:01 PM   
Padriag


Posts: 700
Joined: 3/30/2005
From: NC, USA
Status: offline 		I've often found it a bit peculiar that we have Ask a Master, ask a Mistress, as a sub/slave, etc... with the stated intended purpose being forums to ask questions of and get replies from those specific types of people. Yet in practice you have subs/slave frequently answering questions asked of Masters or Mistress, Masters and Mistresses answering questions asked of submissive and slaves. Now while this, to my perhaps overly orderly mind, makes madness of the intended system of forums I've yet to see the site management or moderators step in and say or do anything about it. Since they don't seem to give a damn, and since nobody is paying me too... I don't give a damn either. As a personal rule I do avoid answering questions in the sub/slave forum and I try to answer those in the Master forum which I can. Other than that, heck if I know, things seem to work pretty well inspite of a bit of anarchy... so if it isn't really broken, why fix it.

_____________________________

Padriag

A stern discipline pervades all nature, which is a little cruel so that it may be very kind - Edmund Spencer

http://www.bardicheart.com

(in reply to blackwolf99)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Master or Mistress - 7/29/2005 5:30:03 PM   
MLapis


Posts: 16
Joined: 7/28/2005
Status: offline 		Hi blackwolf99...If I might try to answer your question...I am asked this alot!

I am in a lesbian 24/7,R/L, livein, D/s relationship. I have identified as a lesbian for over 20 years. I grew up as a "tomboy" and am usually reffered to or ID'd as "Butch" of "softbutch". As much as I really don't care about ID's....I am definitely NOT "Femme" ...so when I met My partner...submissive,Femme...girlfriend...and U/us naturally finding O/ourselves in this realm...having her call Me "Mistress" just didn't mentally "work" for Me...or her. I don't consider myself "male" or FTM or wanting to be a guy...I just don't see myself in lingerie and 6 inch high heels either...so I asked her after much hesitation ...to call Me "Master" and "Sir" instead of "Mistress or Madam"...and she preferred it as well.
As far as using the term Domme...I use that in respect to differentiate a female Domme vs Male Dom, and had been taught as such in other forums.

Feel free to ask any questions if you should have more...

MLapis

(in reply to blackwolf99)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Master or Mistress - 7/29/2005 5:50:33 PM   
IronBear


Posts: 2678
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MLapis

As far as using the term Domme...I use that in respect to differentiate a female Domme vs Male Dom, and had been taught as such in other forums.

Feel free to ask any questions if you should have more...

MLapis




I have to agree with this. I use the terms Domme and Mistress as a sign of respect, especially for those who I dont know that well. (Otherwise I'm likely to use Lass for a Domme or lass for a sub/slave. Agaim these are used in respect. However, if I know someone perfers a specific form of address, I have no problem in addressing as they prefer. After all I prefer (and insist from any in my collar) the term Vanashae, but that's a personal thing and for anyone else I dont care.

I guess that people being what they are and if they see a question on this forum which interests them, and no one has posted it to another one like "Ask a Sub/slave" or "Ask a Mistress" I cant see why they cant reply here. After all if those other than Masters didn't post here, look at how much great information we'd all miss.

_____________________________

Be Well
Iron Bear

Master of House Iron Bear


Yes, I am a Master, but not your Master..........


The Incorrigible, irrepressible, irreverent grizzly



(in reply to MLapis)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Master or Mistress - 7/29/2005 7:15:15 PM   
MstrHellsFury


Posts: 388
Joined: 1/5/2005
Status: offline 		. Other than that, heck if I know, things seem to work pretty well inspite of a bit of anarchy... so if it isn't really broken, why fix it.
[/quote]


I echo this...

Fury

(in reply to Padriag)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Master or Mistress - 7/31/2005 7:34:33 AM   
MasterTemujin


Posts: 42
Joined: 5/2/2005
Status: offline 		To throw my own two cents into the pot. I think that terms can be used to help those that are new. In time for those that remain around long enough terms become indiffernt because one knows who and what they are, and are completely comfortable with that. Perhaps it was initially intended to gain insights from a specific group?

R/S,

Master Temujin

(in reply to MstrHellsFury)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Master or Mistress - 8/2/2005 4:46:38 PM   
CalliopePurple


Posts: 769
Joined: 11/29/2004
From: rural NE Florida
Status: offline 		I prefer being called a Dom, just because it's my nature to enjoy blending genders. My (now ex) gf/pet just called me "Nan-domo", because the honorific at the end is gender-neutral. And for the curious, "Nan" is the end of my real name.

_____________________________

So bring it on, I've been bruised
Don't give me love that's clean and smooth
I'm ready for the rougher stuff
No sweet romance, I've had enough
~Elton John - I Want Love

(in reply to MasterTemujin)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Master or Mistress - 8/3/2005 2:51:06 AM   
ElektraUkM


Posts: 274
Joined: 2/19/2005
Status: offline 		Sub posting in Ask A Master section alert .

I've always wondered why there are TWO sections for Dominants (which are, presumably?, gender-specific), but we subs get only One section ~ why is that..?

I would have thought that Doms of either gender have similar questions to ask, so why separate them out?

~ Elektra

(in reply to CalliopePurple)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Master or Mistress - 8/3/2005 3:07:34 AM   
LdyAuburn


Posts: 179
Joined: 5/9/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Padriag

I've often found it a bit peculiar that we have Ask a Master, ask a Mistress, as a sub/slave, etc... with the stated intended purpose being forums to ask questions of and get replies from those specific types of people. Yet in practice you have subs/slave frequently answering questions asked of Masters or Mistress, Masters and Mistresses answering questions asked of submissive and slaves. Now while this, to my perhaps overly orderly mind, makes madness of the intended system of forums I've yet to see the site management or moderators step in and say or do anything about it. Since they don't seem to give a damn, and since nobody is paying me too... I don't give a damn either. As a personal rule I do avoid answering questions in the sub/slave forum and I try to answer those in the Master forum which I can. Other than that, heck if I know, things seem to work pretty well inspite of a bit of anarchy... so if it isn't really broken, why fix it.

I believe it is due to being only able to post the question in one forum. So even if the OP wants a variety of answers they can only ask once.
Like me answering here someone who doesnt identify as a master

(in reply to Padriag)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Master or Mistress - 8/3/2005 10:16:51 AM   
Rascalyrabbit


Posts: 56
Joined: 6/15/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MLapis

Hi blackwolf99...If I might try to answer your question...I am asked this alot!

I am in a lesbian 24/7,R/L, livein, D/s relationship. I have identified as a lesbian for over 20 years. I grew up as a "tomboy" and am usually reffered to or ID'd as "Butch" of "softbutch". As much as I really don't care about ID's....I am definitely NOT "Femme" ...so when I met My partner...submissive,Femme...girlfriend...and U/us naturally finding O/ourselves in this realm...having her call Me "Mistress" just didn't mentally "work" for Me...or her. I don't consider myself "male" or FTM or wanting to be a guy...I just don't see myself in lingerie and 6 inch high heels either...so I asked her after much hesitation ...to call Me "Master" and "Sir" instead of "Mistress or Madam"...and she preferred it as well.
As far as using the term Domme...I use that in respect to differentiate a female Domme vs Male Dom, and had been taught as such in other forums.

Feel free to ask any questions if you should have more...

MLapis



I couldn't agree with this more!! I feel the same way and it is the same reason that I call myself Master.

_____________________________

[img]http://myspace-959.vo.llnwd.net/00202/95/94/202014959_l.gif[/img]

(in reply to MLapis)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Master or Mistress - 8/3/2005 10:38:57 AM   
Gauge


Posts: 783
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline 		I try to simplify things in my posts by eliminating the gender connotation in Dom/Master/Sir and Mistress/Domme by merely grouping them together as dominant. I mostly lump the submissive/slave into just submissive because if you are a slave you are submissive in addition to being a slave.

I like that everyone feels free to post where they want to, it opens the door to a more rounded discussion and perspectives that otherwise might not be offered.

_____________________________


"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick

(in reply to blackwolf99)
Profile   Post #: 18
Page:   [1]
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Master >> Master or Mistress Page: [1]
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Collarchat.com is a member of the Free Speech Coalition
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.125